But that doesn’t make it hurt any less…

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So that’s that…This IUI cycle was a bust. I had originally planned on testing Monday morning as I would have been 13dpo/IUI but this morning I had some brownish spotting, so I tested anyway (11dpo/IUI) It was of course a big fat negative (as seen in pictures below…)

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I’m just so confused because my periods are always so regular and for it to start 4 days (was due this coming Wednesday) early was unheard of. Maybe being on the pill for the first month and then the Clomid kind of played around with my body/cycle a bit. So far the ‘bleeding’ has only been light and it’s only been a brownish/very light pink colour so Jason was trying to convince me it may have just been implantation bleeding – but I’m not so sure.

I have all my usual ‘period pains’ (I always get a sore back and tummy aches) so I’m pretty sure we are out for this cycle. Tomorrow when I wake up I’m expecting a full on period to have started. I had a big cry this morning after I tested, it’s just such an emotionally draining process. I had my hopes up way too high, and I guess I shouldn’t have. After all it was only a 15% (20% at the most) chance of working each cycle, it really is a miracle to get pregnant. Zach really was our miracle when we did our first round. I will call my clinic on Monday and let them know the (not so good) news. We have to wait until September now to do another cycle as our clinic is based outside of town and the nurses won’t be back until then.

So heartbroken and will probably spend a good part of tomorrow curled up in bed watching crappy movies with Jason, Zach is spending the day/night at his grandma and grandpas so Jason and I can process and just have some time to let it sink in. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be this cycle – we will get our second miracle baby, we haven’t lost hope.

But that doesn’t make it hurt any less…

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9 thoughts on “But that doesn’t make it hurt any less…

  1. Oh babe, I was so hoping this would have a positive outcome ❤️ Sending love your way and lots of baby dust for the next time. You guys deserve this so much. Cmon miracle baby x

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  2. dammit. my heart goes out to you guys. always a possibility until you get the “full flow” as my clinic puts it, but I understand how devastating it is to get your normal period symptoms. take it easy, and take care of each other. I like the positive thinking you have- very inspiring for me 🙂

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